1、我的精神分裂好了，我和我都很好。

I'm schizophrenic. I'm fine with myself.

2、不想討人喜歡，只想做個(gè)迷人的壞蛋。

I don't want to be likeable, I just want to be a charming villain.

3、寧可去碰壁，也不要回家面壁。

Better hit the wall than go home.

4、做不成愛人，那么我們就做陌生人吧。

If you can't be a lover, then let's be strangers.

5、你這人特善良，特別是對(duì)不起人的時(shí)候。

You are very kind, especially when you are sorry.

6、只要錢到位，腦袋瓜子全干碎。

As long as the money is in place, the head melon seeds are all dried up.

7、我視金錢為糞土，我爸視我為化糞池。

I see money as dirt, and my dad sees me as a septic tank.

8、閉上左眼，看到的是你那可愛的靦腆。

Close your left eye and see your lovely shyness.

9、我不是個(gè)隨便的人，但隨便起來不是人。

I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

10、自古多情空余恨，真是恨鐵不成鋼！

Since ancient times, passionate and empty hate, really hate iron can't be made of steel! uuuuuuuuuu

11、這個(gè)世間只有圓滑，沒有圓滿的。

This world is only smooth, there is no perfect.

12、你賤的有出息，騷的夠洋氣。

You are cheap and promising. You are full of foreign spirit.

13、此生若得幸福安穩(wěn)，誰又愿顛沛流離。

If this life is happy and stable, who would like to be displaced.

14、常言道，冰凍三尺，非微波爐不能解凍！

As the saying goes, frozen three feet, non-microwave oven can not thaw!

15、女人只分為兩種：自己的和別人的。

Women are pided into two kinds: their own and others.

16、你現(xiàn)在是天真的二次方，又天真又二。

You are now the naive second party, naive and second.

17、愛你，就像，特步，非一般的感覺。

Love you, just like, special step, extraordinary feeling.

18、我練過氣功，可以把人氣死。

I've practiced Qigong, which can kill people's popularity.

19、少拍點(diǎn)照，不然你自卑感會(huì)出來的。

Take fewer pictures, or you will feel inferior.

20、老師上課的質(zhì)量，決定手機(jī)此月的流量。

The quality of the teacher's class determines the flow of mobile phones this month.

21、你玩兒的叫潛水，哥玩兒的叫潛伏。

You play ping, brother play latent.

22、我們說好不分離，要一直一直在一起。

We say we can't be separated, we should always be together.

23、讀書讀到抽筋處，文思方能如尿崩。

Reading to cramps, Wensi Fang can be like diabetes insipidus.

24、胖子就別鉆牛角尖了，鉆不進(jìn)的。

Fat people don't get into the bull's horn, they can't get through it.

25、建議你喜歡我，我回消息賊快。

I suggest you like me. I'll get back to you soon.

26、愛一個(gè)人很難，放棄自己心愛的人更難。

It's hard to love someone, but harder to give up the person you love.

27、承認(rèn)自己的偉大，就是認(rèn)同自己的愚疑。

To acknowledge one's greatness is to acknowledge one's foolishness.

28、若不是我變了模樣，便是你淡忘了時(shí)光。

If I had not changed my appearance, you would have forgotten the time.

29、累嗎？累就對(duì)了，舒服是留給死人的。

Tired? Tired is right. Comfort is left to the dead.

30、天蒼蒼野茫茫，你吃草我吃糖。

The sky is vast, you eat grass and I eat sugar.

31、吃雞就像女人的大姨媽一樣，每月一次。

Eating chicken is like a woman's aunt, once a month.

32、告訴倪一個(gè)小秘密，其實(shí)額系九尾狐。

Tell Ni a little secret. In fact, it's a Nine-Tailed fox.

33、你腦袋別晃蕩好嗎，全是水咣當(dāng)咣當(dāng)?shù)摹?/p>

Don't shake your head. It's all water.

34、我也想看輕自己，可我的體重不允許。

I also want to look down on myself, but my weight is not allowed.

35、世界再大，我也只想圍著你轉(zhuǎn)。

No matter how big the world is, I just want to go around you.

36、我看你是路走的太多了，迷路了吧。

I think you've gone too far. You're lost.

37、學(xué)霸們差不多得了，別學(xué)的太脫離群眾。

The bullies are almost ready. Don't be too porced from the masses.

38、給你最大的報(bào)復(fù)，就是活的比你幸福。

The greatest revenge for you is to live happier than you.

39、我的軟我的甜，僅對(duì)你一人可見。

My softness and my sweetness are only visible to you.

40、你自己沒那個(gè)能力，就別說別人太勢(shì)力。

If you don't have that ability, don't say that others are too powerful.

41、生命為你提的字，譜成搖滾樂的詩。

Life's words for you compose rock and roll poems.

42、請(qǐng)勿騷擾，本人正在騷擾別人。

Please don't harass. I'm harassing others.

43、我們不是情侶，我們只是愛情的搬運(yùn)工。

We are not lovers, we are just porters of love.

44、曾經(jīng)的?？菔癄€，抵不過好聚好散。

Once the sea withered and the rocks rotted, but good gathering and good scattering.

45、我身在江湖，江湖卻沒有關(guān)于我的傳說。

I am in the river and lake, but there is no legend about me.

46、都說姐漂亮，其實(shí)都是妝出來的。

They all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.

47、如果你不裝逼，我們還是好朋友。

If you don't pretend to push, we're still good friends.

48、說好一起到白頭，你卻跑去焗了油！

Say good together to white head, but you ran to bake oil!

49、白天睡覺覺，晚上打鬧鬧，有事死翹翹。

Sleep in the daytime, play in the evening, and die.

50、祖國的花朵，開一朵我踩一朵。

Flowers of the motherland, open one I tread on.

51、你的確是天使下凡，不過是臉先著地的。

You are indeed an angel, but your face first touches the ground.

52、只許喜歡我，這不是愿望，這是命令。

Just like me, it's not a wish, it's an order.

53、我未來的兒子，快告訴我你爹的方向。

My future son, tell me your father's direction.

54、富貴不能淫，貧賤不能移，威武不能屈。

Wealth cannot be lewd, poverty cannot be removed, and power cannot be surrendered.

55、美女都長一個(gè)樣，恐龍卻各有各的丑。

Beautiful women look the same, but dinosaurs have their own ugliness.

56、車道山前必有路，有路我也剎不住。

There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop there.

57、我們之間沒有緣分，全靠我顏值死撐。

There is no fate between us. It depends on my face.

58、母牛撞上高壓線，真是牛逼帶閃電。

The cow hit the high-voltage wire. It's a cow driving lightning.

59、小鳥雖小，可它玩的卻是整個(gè)天空。

Small as the bird is, it plays with the whole sky.

60、方便面的確很方便，但煮它還是要用電。

Instant noodles are really convenient, but they still need electricity to cook.

61、我問電風(fēng)扇我丑嗎，它搖頭搖了一晚上。

I asked the fan if I was ugly. It shook its head all night.

62、我自橫刀向天笑，笑完我就去睡覺。

I laughed at the sky with my knife and went to bed after laughing.

63、我很好，我沒事，只是有點(diǎn)想砍人。

I'm fine. I'm fine. I just want to cut people off.

64、終于明白、你放不下的不是俄、而是她。

Finally understand, you can not let go of Russia, but she.